Have you ever wondered what it would be like if some you could play an RPG containing some of your favorite video game characters from companies like Capcom, Namco, and Nippon Ichi? Yeah, me too. Unfortunately, for all of us, the short answer to that question is that could quite possibly be the worst experience of your life if Cross Edge is anything to go by.

Before you go and label me as just another hater, I want you to know that I really, really wanted to like Cross Edge. I’m a huge Disgaea fan and I was totally onboard with the idea behind the game when I heard it was going to have Etna and her prinnies. When I found out it had other popular franchise characters such as the sexy ladies from Darkstalkers, I about came bricks. I was absolutely certain that there was no way this game could go wrong.

Of course, that was where I was completely wrong. Cross Edge is the video game version of an amateur fan fiction minus the tawdry perverted sex. For starters, its sports some of the worst graphics I’ve ever seen on a next gen system. The last time I saw graphics this bad was on my old Game Boy Color. Not only are the character sprites low rez and blocky, but the overall game lacks any sort of continuous art style. Enemy sprites seemed to have been pulled from a variety of different sources with some creatures rendered in 2D while others have a 3D texture to them. The cutscenes that occur in-between battles and the time you spend aimlessly wandering the world maybe are nothing to write home about either. Rather than making any attempt to create something that might even vaguely be considered “animated,” the developers of Cross Edge decided to go with still images of the characters in three or four different poses overlaid onto a blank background. I guess they must have had to cut some corners in the art department since I’m sure that fifty gig blu-ray disc the game comes one was just too small to fully encompass their original vision. =-_-;;=

Sadly, as bad as the graphics were, that wasn’t what ultimately drove me to dislike Cross Edge. Oh no, it was the absolutely batshit retarded combat system. This game sports more gauges and meters then a Jules Vernes inspired steampunk wet dream. The worst part is that none of them seem to make a damn lick of sense or function in a coherent manner. After several hours of plodding through pointless battle after pointless battle, I still could not pull off certain combos or special abilities in a consistent manner. Since so much of the game’s combat system relies so heavily on having certain gauges are particular levels while standing in very specific parts of the battlefield, random battles eventually become more of a frustrating chore rather than an entertaining pastime. The game does include an in-game help manual, but I found it to be consistently vague or just plain wrong most of the time.

Oh yeah, that reminds me. I think the story and the dialogue was written by retarded monkeys drunk off their asses on banana mash whiskey. I know translating a game from one language to another can be a difficult job and since I don’t remember any obvious grammar issues, I’m going to assume that the terrible dialogue was the fault of the game’s original creators and not the poor sad shlubs who had to translate the game’s awful script into English. I could be wrong though since I did notice some wonky inconsistencies in character names when comparing the spoken dialogue to the text. I won’t even get into the earbleedingly bad quality of the English dub. What you heard in the video trailer I attached embedded in this post is only the tip of the iceberg…

All in all, if you haven’t guessed yet, I think Cross Edge is a horrible game that owes me money for the hours of time it stole from me. Maybe there’s a gem buried in there somewhere, but I could say the same thing about my cat’s litter box. In the end, the result is the same; you’re going to have to dig through a lot of crap before you ever find anything good. Save yourself some heartache and do not buy this game even when you find it in the dollar bin at your local GameStop.

Set in the fictional metropolis, Empire City, inFamous wastes no time getting down to business by immediately opening up with a massive explosion that devastates the entire city. Moments later, the game’s main character, Cole, wakes up at ground zero for the explosion surrounded by rubble and falling debris. As you stumble in a disoriented manner towards safety, it quickly becomes apparent that Cole’s previous life as an ordinary mail courier is over and that a new destiny more amazing then he could have ever imagined now awaits him.

As I moved through the rubble of Empire City and began testing out Cole’s amazing urban climbing skills, I was immediately impressed with the responsiveness of the controls. Cole moves with a smooth agility that reminds me a lot of Crackdown from a few years ago, except that inFamous is actually, you know, fun. =^_^;;= Within in minutes, I was leaping from rooftops, running along power lines and climbing walls like a monkey searching for free bananas. Considering that Cole can’t ride in a car or swim, it’s a good thing that that you can move quickly through the city via any path you choose as well as you can. The only thing that Cole seems to have a real problem with so far is making efficient use of cover. Sometimes he just won’t recognize a building wall as cover and hide behind it no matter how many times I press the cover button. This only becomes a problem though when I’m being attacked by turret gun or something where I really need to be able to shield myself from the hail of bullets raining down on me. Otherwise, the poor cover mechanics are fairly manageable.

The best I can say about the graphics engine used to power inFamous gets the job done, but it’s not what I’d call impressive. Like so many other sandbox titles before it, super high-end graphics are sacrificed in favor of large interactive environments with no obvious load times. That’s not to say the graphics are bad, I’m just saying that I’ve seen better. Although the environment is large and nicely varied in terms of building sizes and shapes, the same attention just wasn’t paid to the all content used to populate it’s streets. Walking the streets of Empire City, it seems like I can’t turn a corner without seeing the exact same four vehicles parked on the street every two seconds or bumping into the same five people everywhere I go.

Despite my complaints about the graphics not being as jaw dropping as I would have liked, the still manage to impress me from time to time. I love jumping off high buildings and watching Cole plummet to the ground only to land unscathed. Sometimes for added effect, I used the Thunderdrop skill to create a massive electric shockwave when I land. Stuff like this tends makes the geeky superhero-loving kid in me jump up and down with joy. Additionally, the environment sports a decent amount of destructibility that serves to give some of the more intense firefights in the game a much more action-packed cinematic feel. When your crouching being a car as broken glass and other debris rain down on you while you wait for a group of red-clad Reapers to experience the joys of the shock grenade you just dropped at their feet, you just can’t help but feel like you’re in a summer action film.

Unfortunately, inFamous also suffers from the same type of story problems that plague most action films, which is to say that the story seems to have been the last thing on the “to-do” list and is only there to shuttle the player from one action sequence to the next. Even then, most of the missions nothing more than “go destroy this” or “go turn on this piece of equipment” type affairs. Based on some of the in-game cinematics, I’d like to think that the groundwork for something truly epic is being laid, but right now I’m hard pressed to say whether when all of these various threads will come to fruition or if it will be in a satisfy manner when they do. For a dude with awesome superpowers, I feel more like the city janitor than anything else. I seriously doubt Superman or Batman ever had to put up with this crap.

All complaints aside, inFamous is actually a very addictive game. In fact, this article is almost a week overdue simply because I couldn’t tear myself away from the game long enough to do a write up. Considering the pace at which I’m burning through the game, I should know soon whether the game eventually grows beyond the confines of its lame mission structure and less than stellar storyline into something truly memorable. I’ll let ya’ll know as soon as I find out.

-LC1

Supposedly, one of the main selling points of the Super Robot Taisen series that it often incorporates characters from other popular Namco franchises into its story. Therefore, for example, if you are a big fan of KOS-MOS from the Xenosaga games, you in for a real treat when you play Endless Frontier. Thankfully, Endless Frontier doesn’t rely on using its guest star power as its whole reason for existing, but instead concentrates a creating a really great gaming experience that just happens to have some nice fan service elements on the side.

The story for Endless Frontier is proving to be quite interesting with many varied threads that will hopefully all come together into something truly memorable. As the cast of characters continues to expand and the variety of locales I can visit grows ever larger, I cannot help be continually impressed with it. I’m not trying to gush or anything, but so far, I’m really enjoying the story and the often hilarious dialogue that accompanies it. Sure, I could probably complain about how some of the dialogue seems a little too localized and may not be as accurate as the otaku in my might prefer, but to be honest, I can’t really bring myself to carry. I’m just having too damn much fun.

Visually, the game can be broken down in to three distinct graphical styles. The world map and dungeon crawling sequences are the lowest of the low in terms of art, sporting a blocky 8-bit style. Towns and dialogue sequences utilize series a character art images that cycle through a variety of poses and expressions, but aren’t actually animated. To be honest, the game doesn’t really start to impress until you begin getting into battles. Characters models during battle sequences a decently detailed for a BS game and each character has nice variety of battle animations. The best part about battles though (aside from the awesome battle system) is the short animated sequences that appear whenever you activate a special move. Other than making your monster beatdowns look totally awesome, they’re also a great source of fanservice with lots of attention paid to each character’s particular assets.

Speaking of the battle system, I have been extremely pleased with the overall depth of the gameplay and variety of options available to me in any given situation. In any given battle sequence, I can choose attack skills, activate special moves, use spirit magic, activate support items, chain attacks together, and even call in other characters for support. In fact, I can do almost all of that and more in one turn if I have enough energy in my action bar (which I can replenish using items in the same turn!). The sheer amount of options available make every battle a blast to play, but unfortunately, that very same depth also makes for a rather steep learning curve at the beginning of the game. Still, once you master the system you’ll find yourself humming along through battles manipulating characters, activating items, and sifting through battle menus like a maestro conducting a symphony. It all just flows and makes for a fun, fast-paced experience.

The only real complaint I’ve had with Endless Frontier so far has been the complete lack of any sort subtitles to along with all the voice work in the game. All the characters are incredibly chatty, but it doesn’t do me a bit of good since I don’t understand a word their saying. Since most of these vocal work occurs when dealing with vendors and during battle sequences, I’m pretty sure I’m not missing anything, but it still would have been nice if Atlus would have taken the time to incorporate some sort of translation into the game.

Other than that one lonesome complaint, everything else in the game has been a blast so far. If things continue the same way for the rest of the game, I do believe you will see a very positive full review at some point in the future!

-LC1

Released in the U.S. early last year, it’s only through the magic of Netflix that I’ve finally had an opportunity to sit down and see what all the fuss is about. After three discs and roughly twelve episodes of content, Lucky Star seems to have all the right ingredients in place to make it a classic for the ages. Unfortunately, much of its potential is squandered on boring stories and vapid dialogue.

Based on the Japanese manga by the same name, Lucky Star is a slice-of-life show that follows the day-to-day adventures of four high school girls. Despite efforts to create a lovable and balanced cast, the only real standout among the four main characters is the blue-haired otaku, Konata Izumi. Konata’s addiction to all things otaku and her compulsive collectors’ mentality instantly endears her as a kindred spirit to anyone who’s ever felt sting of being labeled a nerd. Next to her, the other three characters are like dim light bulbs trying to outshine the sun.

Yes, I have indeed hoped on the Konata love train. I’ll admit that but it’s only because there’s not much else for me to latch onto in the series other then maybe the Lucky Channel segments at the end of every episode. Although the antics of the bitter and cynical child star turned idol, Akira Kogami, can be quite entertaining, they only make up about three to five minutes out of every episode. The majority of the show is bland at best and mind numbingly boring at worst. In fact, the first four episodes were so incredibly bad, that the producers had to fire the original director and hired a new one to replace him. The change definitely improved the overall quality of the show, but it still remains a slow series that just sort of pokes along without any real purpose.

Visually, the show is delightfully animated using a warm palette of colors and adorable character designs that I just find soothing to watch for some reason. I was surprised at just how bad the DVD encoding was when I began watching episodes on my new HDTV. Pixilation and jaggies are much more noticeable on a high definition setup with the opening credits being the worst offender.

Overall, the show has a subtle charm about it that really has me hooked; I just find it frustrating that I cannot find more good things to say about it do to its poor story structure and lack of compelling character development. Although it does a hilarious job parodying the otaku lifestyle and lampooning other popular shows, without these gag moments, the majority of the show has so far proven to be incapable of standing on its own merits. I am hoping that things will improve as I begin to work my way through the second half of the series.

-LC1

“Can you snap your fingers in with music?”

When I saw those words printed on the side of slipcase, my first thought was, “Well, I’m screwed.” Luckily, rather than going with my initial instinct to just give up right then and there, I decided to try the game out before actually declaring defeat.

Rhythm Heaven is divided up into a series of musical mini-games that task the player with such duties as singing in time with a choir, assembling machine parts and filling robots with fuel. Using the stylus on the bottom screen, the player must attempt to stay in time with the music to ensure that all the tasks are accomplished successful on the top screen. Although the game employs an adorable minimalist art style that’s very engaging to look at, you’re usually better off trying to catch the rhythm of the music rather than watching the animations.

At its best, Rhythm Heaven will have you nodding your head in time to the music as you beat out a rhythm with your stylus on the DS’ touchpad. At worst, if you’re generally a rhythmless white boy like myself, you’re going to find several of the mini-games an exercise in frustration. Luckily, fail a particular mini-game enough times and you’ll be provided with the option to skip it. I’ve only recently come across a mini-game that I can’t stop failing at so I’m not sure how many games you can actually skip.

Overall, I’m very pleased with Rhythm Heaven so far and that’s saying a lot considering how very bad I am at it. I absolutely love the music and I would probably buy the soundtrack if it was ever released domestically. As for the game itself, I’m definitely going to be adding this title to my collection after I return my rental copy to Gamefly. As to when I’ll actually be able to complete it and write a full review…well, my appalling lack of musical talent may insure that never happens… =^_^;;=

-LC1

Little Red Riding Hood’s Zombie BBQ is a very, very quirky game that turns the Fairytale world upside down, Zombies have invaded and are turning most of the fairytale folk into undead versions of themselves. Your characters for combating this menace are Little Red Riding Hood (who’s packing a machine gun and some major cleavage from the artwork /perv) and Momotaru a Ninja (who uses throwing stars).

It’s a top down auto scrolling shooter that relies heavily on the DS stylus to shoot the zombies by touching near them and activating the various powerups gained throughout the game.

Pros
interesting take on the Fairytales of the past
Decent graphics for a DS title
Cheap, bought it for $10

Cons
Playing through the first level I noticed large numbers of zombies on screen tended to slow the game down

My initial rating is a solid 4 out 5 stars, but this may change once I beat it.

-LordHaggis

(Editor’s note: It’s worth noting that LordHaggis managed to enjoy this game without even having a proper stylus to play it with, but was instead employing a humble plastic fork for all his gaming needs. Truly, his is a god among game geeks. =^_-=)

I wasn’t sure what to expect when I booted up Prince of Persia since I’ve never played any of the previous games. Luckily for me, this game breaks completely with any of the previous mythology established in earlier Prince of Persia games. This fresh start definitely made me feel more welcome as I stepped into the Prince’s shoes for the very first time…and proceeded to fall to my death almost immediately. Yeah, I’m not very good at platformers =^_^;;=

Despite my shortcomings in the skills department, what I’ve played so far has been very enjoyable. The Prince (when I’ve got my groove on) moves with an agility and grace that’s incredible to watch and even more pleasing to be in control of. Usually, my numerous in-game deaths have more to do with the controls being too responsive to my needs rather then not enough, i.e. when I press a button too early during a move animation or accidentally tap the wrong button. The sad part is that the controls for the Prince are actually quite simple and elegant, I’m just a bad player.

Thankfully, my numerous deaths were far less of a penalty then they might have been in other games. Your partner throughout the game, Elika, is always there to rescue you. The best part is that the game doesn’t have to reload the level after every death and you never have to restart from your last save. Instead, you just respawn at a safe location near where you messed up. This is a wonderful system for those who are platformer challenged and makes playing the game much less of a chore.

Speaking of Elika, I must say she is one of the most engaging and charming NPC’s I’ve ever had the pleasure of traveling with. Rather than attempting to saddle the player with an A.I. partner, which often times are more trouble than they’re worth, Elika serves more as an extension of the player’s will. She never gets in the way and it’s completely up the player to decide how much they want to interact with her. Personally, I’ve really been enjoying the optional dialogue segments between the Prince and her. Not only are these segments entertaining and informative, but they also serve to build a strong, romantic relationship between the Prince and Elika.

So far, the biggest downside I’ve come across during my initial playthrough has been the game’s overall repetitiveness. Every locale follows the exact same formula, 1.) Jump and flip your way to the center of a particular level, 2.) Fight one of four different boss characters, 3.) Work your way back through the healed level collecting “light seeds” so you can open up new locations. It really wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the fact that this formula usually means that I have to travel through every location at least twice due the fact that there are usually several light seeds in every level that are unattainable unless you’ve unlocked one of four special powers. Not only does this unnecessarily extend the game, but the fact that that you can’t get the best ending unless you collect every single light seed means that this task isn’t really optional. Grr!

Overall, Prince of Persia has been a delightful experience so far with its beautiful graphics, engaging characters, excellent voice-acting and interesting storyline. Despite the game’s lack of task variety, the gameplay itself has a soothing flow to it that’s incredibly entertaining in its own right. I originally rented it from Gamefly just to test it out, but I’ll definitely be purchasing the next time I have some extra cash. =^_^=

-LC1

I received my copy of Henry Hatsworth and the Puzzling Adventure from Gamefly this past Saturday and I must say that this game is simply AWESOME. I’m serious. I haven’t fallen in love with a game this quickly in ages. I can’t put it down. Not only have I’ve kidnapped my wife’s DS from her, but my hands, my beautiful writer’s hands, have become little more then gnarled claws whose only useful purpose is to grip the DS’ tiny frame for hours on end as I fight monsters and shift blocks.

The game, which takes place across both screens, combines the best elements from both the platforming and puzzle genres. On the top screen, Henry Hatsworth is typical adventure game. You jump hurdles, fight monsters and search for power ups that allow you to murder monsters in more creative ways. It’s quite fun and although extremely challenging at times, it never get’s really frustrating as long as you keep an eye on your bottom screen.

The bottom screen works a lot like a game of Bejeweled, requiring you to match blocks of the same color. The screen slowly fills from the bottom, pushing blocks towards the top of the screen until they disappear from sight. This wouldn’t be much of a problem except that enemies that you defeat on the top screen fall to the bottom screen and become blocks. You must then match them with like colored blocks to destroy them before they reach the top of the screen, otherwise they will return to the top screen and cause you all sorts of trouble. Worse yet, access to the bottom screen is handled via a “puzzle meter” that quickly depletes. There are only two ways to refill this meter, by either defeating enemies and or simply waiting for it to replenish on its own.

After several days with this game, I’m still every bit as in love with it as when I first booted it up in my wife’s DS. The humorous story, hilarious bosses, challenging action and FANTASTIC music have all combined to make this a game I can’t hardy put down. Look for a full review in a few weeks if all goes well.

-LC1

Yes, it’s true. The good folks at Ubisoft just can’t stop themselves from constantly reminding you that their game has some of the most realistic fire effects in videogames to date. Not only do they make a point to mention it on the game’s case several times, but seems like you can’t hardly walk five steps without either accidentally (or intentionally) starting an uncontrollable wildfire or being reminded via info pop ups about how usefully fire can be when used against your enemies during battle. Hell, they even give you a freakin’ flamethrower at the beginning of the game!

I guess I can’t really fault the developer’s for being proud of their baby though. Not only does the fire look good, but so does the rest of the game. The longer I wander its sun-drenched hills and grassy plains, the more I’m impressed with all the little details that have gone into every inch of the landscape.

Initially, I was put off by the game quite a bit due to its somewhat complicated interface and high learning curve. The game uses a pseudo-sim style that requires you to do nearly everything in-game rather then via menus. The only time you access a menu screen is when you want to look through your journal for details on missions and general game progress info.

This approach can be quite annoying at times. Weapons become rusty over time and more prone to jamming during battles. Vehicles become damaged easily and have to be repaired. Hell, even navigation is done via a handheld map and GPS unit. In fact, it’s probably a good thing Ubisoft didn’t have the technical resources to include more animals and people in the game because I would have accidentally murdered them all with my jeep while trying to drive and read my map at the same time. =^_^;;=

Over time though, I’ve grown to accept the issues I mentioned in the previous paragraph as just being part of the experience. With that said, there is one issue that has cropped up that just pisses me off to know end. If there’s anything I dread most about traveling, it’s the freaking guard posts that seem to be located at every road intersection and near the entrance to every town. These guard posts ALWAYS contain at least five to six pissed guards that have nothing better to do with there lives other then shoot you on sight. Oh no, it doesn’t matter how many times you gun them down, they will always respawn. Always. God help you if you take the wrong road and need to turn around, because they’ll be waiting for you at that same damn intersection. Bastards…=-_-x=

The non-linear sandbox gameplay is both a blessing and a curse. On the plus side, I can do whatever I want when ever I want as long I don’t run out of medical supplies, working guns or malaria medicine (freakin’ malaria!) Unfortunately, that same freedom comes at the price of any sort of compelling narrative. The game’s main villain, The Jackal, is a really interesting character, but there isn’t really a strong story in place to support him as the villain. In fact, rather then giving me a compelling reason to hate him, I find myself admiring him more then anything else. Not necessarily a good thing to have in a game this long since it removes a lot of the motivation to see it through to the end.

If anything, that’s probably Far Cry 2′s biggest problem. It’s just not very compelling. I like it and I’m enjoying the experience, but that’s all it is…an experience. I’ll have it and I’ll move on to something else. From what I’ve played so far, I just foresee myself making it to the end of this game. Sure I may visit again as some point later, just to check in and maybe burn a few villages to the ground, but only until something else comes my way.

Since it’s probably going to be a while before I finish this game and can write a full review, I’m gonna go ahead and make a suggestion: rent it before you buy it. There’s a lot to love and a lot to dislike about Far Cry 2, so you’d be better off saving yourself some potential heartache down the road by giving it a test run first.

-LC1

Onechanbara Fetish Checklist:

Zombies – Check!
Guro -Check!
Hot girls with swords – Check!
Hot girls with guns – Check!
Softcore naughtiness – Check!
Oppai – Check!
Lolicon – Check!!!
Shota – ?
Furry – ?
Yaoi/yuri – ?

As far as I can tell, Onechanbara pretty much has all its fetish bases covered, with the exception of the last three on that list. Of course, that doesn’t mean those fetishes aren’t any there, I just may not have gotten far enough into the game yet to find them. =^_^;;=

All kidding aside though, this is really not a game that’s going to have much of an appeal to anyone other then the niche otaku audience that’s probably going to buy it more for it’s fun fetish content then anything else. In fact, that I can’t stop playing it probably says a lot more about me then I care to admit =^_^;;=.

Graphically, the game has some real issues. I’ve spotted numerous graphical glitches, poor collision detection (stupid motorcycle level), terrible camera, and sometimes downright pitiful character animations. I’ve also noticed playback glitches during in-game cinemas and the font they use for the scrolling text during intermissions is just down right terrible. Also, some of the bigger levels can become rather frustrating due to numerous dead ends, inaccessible areas and the occasional appearance of a seemingly invincible enemies (I’m looking at your blood cloud monster!).

On the good side, the zombies come in decent variety and with character models that don’t look half-bad up close. The girls, of course, ooze sexiness with some of the most detailed character models in the game…complete with independent breast physics =^_^;;= The look of each character can be customized to suit your personal tastes (heh, heh) using the game’s “Dress up” feature with new costume pieces being unlocked by meeting certain goals during regular gameplay.

I was also pleased to discover that D3 has seen fit to offer some of their downloadable content for the game free on Xbox Live. I was able to download a new character, Reiko, as well as new costumes for Aya and Saki. The new Saki costume brought me much happiness…

er hrm…anyway, as I said earlier, this is really not game that’s going to appeal to many people. For a hack ‘n’ slash game, it meets the requirements competently , but relies more on its fetish content to distinguish itself rather then memorable or innovative gameplay. So far, it’s pretty much being like playing a video game version of a really, really low-budget B-movie. Perhaps, that’s why I just can’t stop playing it and am seriously considering buying it from Gamefly. It’s only $30 bucks and they recently sent me a $5 off coupon to boot :P)

It shouldn’t take me much longer to finish up the majority of the game. When I do, I’ll post a full review.

Later,
LC1